in between
Reading a book about complex PTSD was very confronting.
I've been quite a mess lately.
But at least after 2,5 months the concussion's effects have worn off.
Have started my third course, which is energy work, and feels exactly right for this moment.
I have been in a state of adrenaline fuelled panic for over a week.
Realizing things I hadn't thought about for years, about when I was a kid.
My mother threatening with suicide, or leaving us, which she then did for whole days, when night would fall and we got increasingly worried she'd never come back just as she had said.
Me beating myself up about "not getting there fast enough" (there being enlightenment), even though I'm so effed up.
"The Body Keeps the Score". Excellent book, which is suffering an American treatment at my hands, nearly every page covered in neon yellow marker.
I've been quite a mess lately.
But at least after 2,5 months the concussion's effects have worn off.
Have started my third course, which is energy work, and feels exactly right for this moment.
I have been in a state of adrenaline fuelled panic for over a week.
Realizing things I hadn't thought about for years, about when I was a kid.
My mother threatening with suicide, or leaving us, which she then did for whole days, when night would fall and we got increasingly worried she'd never come back just as she had said.
Me beating myself up about "not getting there fast enough" (there being enlightenment), even though I'm so effed up.
"The Body Keeps the Score". Excellent book, which is suffering an American treatment at my hands, nearly every page covered in neon yellow marker.
posted by M. at 12:00 AM
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