Fatigue

Happy Halloween.
Been turned inside out upside down, gutted like a damn pumpkin.
Lost control over everything I thought or told myself I still had some power over. House a mess, personal life, books, it's all a mess and I'm a chainsmoking mess.
Tired of life sometimes, not quite boredom, but some kind of weariness maybe, fatigue. It's always the same. Same wars, people, stories, problems. I can't keep up and am losing interest in being able to.