New Year's Eve

Sitting in my tiny bathroom, adrenaline coarsing through my veins. CPTSD wrecking my body.

It's not (yet) as bad as last year, but it isn't midnight yet and I have two terrified cats to take care of as well. 

Explosions outside, trembling walls and windows, with added thundering sounds from some neighbor having a 'party'.

You won't get anything useful from me these days, that's why I haven't been writing. It's all the same. Now it's just life happening, stress coming up, doing things, not doing things, worrying, stressing, et cetera. 

This will go on and on and on and on and on. Until all the stress and trauma is out of my body. Maybe I'll die first, who knows.