Be that, be fat

Be fat. If that's what Life needs you to be right now, be that, be fat. Play that role - until you're done with it or the role is done with you, whatever. Just play it completely so nothing remains of it and you won't need to revisit the same role over and over again.
You were waiting for the frustration to take you there, but that's a way of history, you've done that (or better - it happened); taking the next step when you felt so utterly frustrated with the last one that you gave up hope. Then you proceeded.
It worked, at times, when it was supposed to, but now is different, now you're not playing games anymore, at least, that's your resolve, isn't it? Yes. No more games. Then no more waiting to be frustrated and being frustrated because the frustration isn't big enough to take you to the next level. No more of that.
Be what Life needs you to be in this moment. If it needs you to be fat, be fat. And when that part is done, there will be another part to play, maybe slender and healthy, maybe cripple, maybe married, murderous or amused. Who knows. All you know is what you must be right now. Play it convincingly, play all of it, so nothing remains.

If it is happening, it is the right thing to happen. So no need to think you're doing anything wrong. That's impossible. Whatever you are right now, whatever the part you're playing, it is perfect. Until it's not and you'll know.
So, you know, no worries.