Scatterings

"It can be terrifying
to be slowly dying."

A dream, Jed McKenna telling me (in symbols) to 'bridge the gap'.

There's a hole inside of me
where my issues used to be.

No clear, defined thought.
Grasping.

How valuable my time in this town has been.
The place to work through everything that needed to be worked through.
All this time fantasizing about leaving, moving.
Look at the work that has been done here!
Invaluable.

Reminder to let This. Let It.
Dissolve.
It will provide.
Action or no action.

It's okay. Whatever happens.
Fear is okay, of course it is!
Do or don't, it doesn't matter.
Everything is appropriate.

Thoughts, music, tea, birch tree, fear, thoughts.

Another dream. My need to be loved.

Lozenge crunching between my teeth, piano music.

The repetitiveness of grasping for self.

Magpie strutting its stuff in the garden. They seem especially bold this year.

Now tea, with honey.
Camomile.

Trying to do, where doing isn't needed. Trying to not-do, where trying isn't needed. It's all fine, honey.
Do what you do, think what thought appears. It's all absolutely fine.
You cannot do something wrong. You cannot think wrong.
Let It take care of things. Let It take care of 'you'.

Traces of guilt.
Self-importance.

Birch tree leaves lifting up in the wind, like tiny kites.

Headache from trying to stay with what is, as if anything else were possible!
Little me, trying to be in control.

So many butterflies darting into the living room this summer!

Cereal, in the sun.
Shopping list.
Grasping.
Writing.