That sinking feeling

You were able to be cute about spiritual enlightenment, to play with the concept, flaunt it as a hobby, wear it in your hair like an exotic flower, because you didn't allow yourself to see that this really is where this road is leading. And the way Jed describes it it's pretty scary, isn't it?
Even when you didn't know what it was, you were heading in that direction. You always were. Your whole life was set up in a way to accommodate your search. This is what you were born to do. It's real. Is it sinking in yet?
I can see that it is.