Hippie serial killer

I ordered two seasons of Dexter (was mesmerised first time I saw it) and an autobiography by a serial killer - with the intention of delving into my own darkest parts. The parts I usually skip cos I know what's there and I'm past the darker urges I had when I was young and extremely tormented (I literally haven't hurt a fly in decades).
But now I'm okay with it and not afraid or even apprehensive to shine a torch on those parts. Maybe a floodlight. It's fine with me, even though I had some awfully dark tendencies way back when.
Didn't act on them, or else I'd be typing this from a cosy prison cell.
I know where it came from and I know nothing can be denied, unless everything is denied. Whatever that means. It's all here, so it's all okay. I don't know whether this makes sense or not, I'm a little rusty from not writing the past few months.
Not a lot has happened on the outside, but it has on the inside; I'm ever so slowly turning into a Human Adult, with growing pains and steps back and everything.
Starting to realise that a huge part of my life, if not all of it, is/was focused on attack and defense. Mayor change of direction within the dream: I haven't found the right words yet to describe exactly what I mean by that, or what it looks like, but you could dumb it down to 'make love not war' (without the actual love making as in sex).
Just the approach to things, people, situations. "How can I bring together" instead of "how can I best defend myself". Unite instead of fight. I knew there was a risk of sounding like a total hippie. Oh well, there's worse things.
And best of all, I'm starting to care less about other people's opinions of me. Took me long enough, but the satisfaction and peace of mind was/is definitely worth it. Still developing; it's a work in progress, but not through conscious effort. Things are now changing by themselves.

I dusted off "A Course in Miracles" again, which is quite similar to Jed's books. For one willing to look past the christian terminology it really speaks of the exact same thing; the only Real thing.

"Reality cannot 'threaten' anything except illusions, since reality can only uphold truth."

Not too shabby eh?
Anyway, I'm waiting for the words to come by themselves, cos eventually they always do, when my thoughts have crystallized. Which is not now, not yet. I wrote this to de-rust myself.

Here's something I found myself repeating over and over upon waking up one morning, not consciously, but as a remnant of a dream or something like it:

"He doesn't force you to sing,
He turns you into a song."

Will watch an episode of Dexter now, before going to bed.
Later***M.