show time

Notes from the locker room:

All God, all the time. 

Laughed while cycling to the gym. 

That would be a nice tv-channel, showing nothing and everything. If everything is all God, all the time, that should be hard to miss, right? Well, that's what fear does.

The closest relationship I have ever had in this life was and is with fear, even though we're both seeing other people.

And fear is not worried or jealous, because it knows it can pull me back any time with some skillfully administered pain or panic.

Fear makes me completely forget about "all God, all the time" and pulls me back in for prolonged periods of panic, stress, worry.

Which makes it non-abiding non-dual awareness.  

 

Notes in between exercises:  

The visible world is condensed God, like condensed milk, but not as sweet - to this particular character. But it can be.

I look up to see a commercial on one of the screens that says: "stop searching." I smile.

Resigned to the fact that fear will drag me back down to the concrete world.

Panic, terror and pain feel so real it's almost impossible to not get pulled back into the sewer.

Maybe I should use that hologram focus thingy to 'sense' God in whatever I'm staring at at the time. (Okay I tried but it's hard - maybe because it's too general, not specific enough.)

Is this why we're so fascinated by evil? Because only through darkness do we really get to experience light? Even so-called pure evil is just God playing.

I look over and another perfectly timed commercial tells me "the waiting is over."  I get a bit teary-eyed.