Shock & yawn
"In our own practices Alicia and I have noticed that women whose mothers were the victims of sexual abuse, for example, were likely to manifest all the signs of a sexual abuse survivor themselves.
[...]
In my treatment of PTSD sufferers I have achieved most success when I examined and treated the earlier childhood traumas and resulting depression first rather than the more obvious secondary trigger. The original trauma can induce a rather rigid, fearful personality, one less able to cope flexibly with stressful events in later life.
[...]
This is as true of rape victims as it is of war veterans. In treating rape survivors, it is important to find out if there is a history of sexual abuse in their family.
[...]
One last point to be born in mind in treating all victims of traumatic stress, whether the result is depression, anxiety attacks, or PTSD, is that the trauma is perpetuated in the body as well as in the brain. It is as if the body of the victim is perpetually on alert for the next blow, critical remark or sexual attack and is therefore held very rigidly.
These people are more prone to injury because of this 'emotional holding pattern' as I call it. They are also less likely to let go of the emotional impact of the trauma while this somatic pattern persists.
[...]
PTSD, like depression, can also be somatized. In an individual who was not allowed to express negative emotions as a child these emotions can be expressed as physical illness such as chronic fatigue syndrome or fibromyalgia."
By Bob Murray, PhD
and Alicia Fortinberry, MS
I was looking for books on domestic violence and PTSD and stumbled upon a website with so many true quotes I was just shocked. Just shocked, because it rings so true, all of the above and completely applies to me. God.
Anyway. I'm exhausted. Finished reading the Victor Rivas Rivers book; it's stunning, amazing, mindblowing and hilarious (very important to me).
The only reason why I'm not in bed yet is because I am scared to get up again tomorrow. I'm trying to come up with reasons why I shouldn't go to training, without having to tell them I don't want to go because I am afraid of being with other people at the moment.
There are so many stops along the way. The road is still so excruciatingly long. I'm so messed up I actually feel bad for writing about my problems here because it's meant for autolysis, not DIY psychotherapy. But since it's unavoidable to take that step first, to go there first, I will have to keep going like this and write about whatever comes up.
Oh and I started to walk in the dark again. I start off my walks alongside(?) the canal at dusk and when I return from the bridge it's dark and the stars are out. Wasn't scared. Again: whatever they can do to me, has already been done. I prefer the feeling of freedom, peace and quiet, and being beneath the stars with the risk of seriously getting hurt over staying inside out of fear.
Ah man, I'm too tired. Up to bed.
[...]
In my treatment of PTSD sufferers I have achieved most success when I examined and treated the earlier childhood traumas and resulting depression first rather than the more obvious secondary trigger. The original trauma can induce a rather rigid, fearful personality, one less able to cope flexibly with stressful events in later life.
[...]
This is as true of rape victims as it is of war veterans. In treating rape survivors, it is important to find out if there is a history of sexual abuse in their family.
[...]
One last point to be born in mind in treating all victims of traumatic stress, whether the result is depression, anxiety attacks, or PTSD, is that the trauma is perpetuated in the body as well as in the brain. It is as if the body of the victim is perpetually on alert for the next blow, critical remark or sexual attack and is therefore held very rigidly.
These people are more prone to injury because of this 'emotional holding pattern' as I call it. They are also less likely to let go of the emotional impact of the trauma while this somatic pattern persists.
[...]
PTSD, like depression, can also be somatized. In an individual who was not allowed to express negative emotions as a child these emotions can be expressed as physical illness such as chronic fatigue syndrome or fibromyalgia."
By Bob Murray, PhD
and Alicia Fortinberry, MS
I was looking for books on domestic violence and PTSD and stumbled upon a website with so many true quotes I was just shocked. Just shocked, because it rings so true, all of the above and completely applies to me. God.
Anyway. I'm exhausted. Finished reading the Victor Rivas Rivers book; it's stunning, amazing, mindblowing and hilarious (very important to me).
The only reason why I'm not in bed yet is because I am scared to get up again tomorrow. I'm trying to come up with reasons why I shouldn't go to training, without having to tell them I don't want to go because I am afraid of being with other people at the moment.
There are so many stops along the way. The road is still so excruciatingly long. I'm so messed up I actually feel bad for writing about my problems here because it's meant for autolysis, not DIY psychotherapy. But since it's unavoidable to take that step first, to go there first, I will have to keep going like this and write about whatever comes up.
Oh and I started to walk in the dark again. I start off my walks alongside(?) the canal at dusk and when I return from the bridge it's dark and the stars are out. Wasn't scared. Again: whatever they can do to me, has already been done. I prefer the feeling of freedom, peace and quiet, and being beneath the stars with the risk of seriously getting hurt over staying inside out of fear.
Ah man, I'm too tired. Up to bed.
posted by M. at 2:44 AM
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