Drops

Jed's email was - once again - divine timing. How could it not be. I cycled to the gym giggling and grinning all the way. 

As I am melting away, I'm astounded by the fact that this can be missed. It's incredible. It couldn't be simpler. Just astounded. 

Also the 'me' is a bit let down by how ordinary it is after all the time and energy invested. I wouldn't *exactly* call it a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, but it doesn't seem to be anything really. Just.. a relaxing, being and seeing clearly, without all the rubble. 

And still going through cycles of an inward relaxing and bringing forth adrenaline and fear through the body. Then when that energy dissipates, on to the next batch. And so on and so forth. Reminding myself of Further.

In the morning I like to sit in the shed with the door open when it rains. Cat in my lap, coffee next to me, classical music in my ears mixed with the sound of raindrops falling on leaves. It's wonderful.