Questions
There has been a sighting of my father; my mother told me on the phone yesterday that somebody spotted him in Holland. Sure enough, he called me today. Since it's too hard these days to pretend everything is just fine, I blurted out that I'm not feeling great and my life is going nowhere at the moment. He took advantage of the situation to, again, talk me into doing tai-chi instead of karate, the man never quits.
I informed him I would travel to my sister some days after the baby is born, so I will have a place to sleep (I don't want to be around a lot of people at the moment, especially family). He and his wife are staying at my mother's house, so I will wait until they are gone, or take the risk of not sleeping at all and stay at my sister's place, on an inflatable bed in the living-room. I'm not very keen on putting myself into a situation of chaos, so I'm going to wait and see what happens. There is an end date, if the baby hasn't been born by that time, the doctors will induce labor.
At least now I don't have to fake, that will save some energy. Both my mother and father know that I'm not in a good place so maybe they won't bother me. Hope his wife gets the message too, but knowing her, she will be too busy adoring my niece to pay any attention to me, and who can blame her? I certainly don't, it's fine with me, I just want to be left alone.
If this second kid is going to be half as cute and funny as the first, that family is beyond blessed. They're so lucky.
As for me, tomorrow I'm going to karate again for the first time in almost two weeks. Hope I will get enough sleep tonight. I really have to go, I'm filling out in several areas, I can place the remote on my gut. I have love-handles and that's not cool for a woman.
Why am I writing this?
I walked for an hour and a half tonight, pondering truth. I wonder how I can verify what truth is. Uptil now I have only been able to see what truth is not, but I can't give an explanation to myself as to why this world is not truth, why it is false. People see the world in many different ways, everybody is wearing customized colored glasses through which they view their surroundings.
But I touch this desk and I feel it, I hear the sound of my knuckles on the wood surface. And it's wood, not iron or gold or mud, it's wood, and anybody who comes in here and sees this desk will agree it's wood. Isn't that real? Isn't that true? I don't know what to do with this. Those trees near the canal, aren't they true? Don't they possess a degree of true-ness?
I don't know what's coming, I don't know what to expect but I'm somewhat confused on the subject, I have trouble visualizing what this Truth thing is. Visualizing has always been of great help to me but now.. I can't. Guess I'll see it when I get there, but how can I let go if I don't know whether I'm on the right track? Is intuition enough? Is it unnecessary to understand?
Well, this is not over yet, but I have to stop writing and get my fat ass to bed if I want to be somewhat rested tomorrow morning.
Later.
I informed him I would travel to my sister some days after the baby is born, so I will have a place to sleep (I don't want to be around a lot of people at the moment, especially family). He and his wife are staying at my mother's house, so I will wait until they are gone, or take the risk of not sleeping at all and stay at my sister's place, on an inflatable bed in the living-room. I'm not very keen on putting myself into a situation of chaos, so I'm going to wait and see what happens. There is an end date, if the baby hasn't been born by that time, the doctors will induce labor.
At least now I don't have to fake, that will save some energy. Both my mother and father know that I'm not in a good place so maybe they won't bother me. Hope his wife gets the message too, but knowing her, she will be too busy adoring my niece to pay any attention to me, and who can blame her? I certainly don't, it's fine with me, I just want to be left alone.
If this second kid is going to be half as cute and funny as the first, that family is beyond blessed. They're so lucky.
As for me, tomorrow I'm going to karate again for the first time in almost two weeks. Hope I will get enough sleep tonight. I really have to go, I'm filling out in several areas, I can place the remote on my gut. I have love-handles and that's not cool for a woman.
Why am I writing this?
I walked for an hour and a half tonight, pondering truth. I wonder how I can verify what truth is. Uptil now I have only been able to see what truth is not, but I can't give an explanation to myself as to why this world is not truth, why it is false. People see the world in many different ways, everybody is wearing customized colored glasses through which they view their surroundings.
But I touch this desk and I feel it, I hear the sound of my knuckles on the wood surface. And it's wood, not iron or gold or mud, it's wood, and anybody who comes in here and sees this desk will agree it's wood. Isn't that real? Isn't that true? I don't know what to do with this. Those trees near the canal, aren't they true? Don't they possess a degree of true-ness?
I don't know what's coming, I don't know what to expect but I'm somewhat confused on the subject, I have trouble visualizing what this Truth thing is. Visualizing has always been of great help to me but now.. I can't. Guess I'll see it when I get there, but how can I let go if I don't know whether I'm on the right track? Is intuition enough? Is it unnecessary to understand?
Well, this is not over yet, but I have to stop writing and get my fat ass to bed if I want to be somewhat rested tomorrow morning.
Later.
posted by M. at 8:58 AM
1 Comments:
Hello. Not sure how often you come across people who've read Jed's books, here in the Netherlands. I'm from the states and was suprised to find a bookstore here in Amsterdam who imports these titles. I'd read "the damdest thing" before arriving in Europe about 6 months ago. If you'd like to correspond via email, I'd be happy communicate on the subjects raised in the books, and elsewhere.
_justin
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