Streams of consciousness a.k.a. guess who's having her period
Sis will go to the hospital Friday, if I didn't know any better, I'd think the doctors are stalling. Either they are going to send her home to get a suitcase with cloths and she can deliver the baby on Friday, or they will rub some kind of labor inducing cream on her belly and send her home for the weekend. So I'm probably leaving Saturday or even later.
Tense day, boring as well, cried a little at the meeting, stuffed my face with chocolate so nothing new there. Next week I'm expected to go to another doctor/specialist to whom I have to tell the whole story all over again 'yawn', like something good can come out of it. I look healthy, that's my curse, you can't see anything on the outside except a little crookedness in my back, a straight piece of back that's supposed to be arched and overly flexible joints. Well, I'm looking forward to it already..
I'm sitting here typing, but there's really not much to say. Just trying to get rid of this heavy feeling inside. Guess writing doesn't always help.
Saw a hell of a boxing-match just now, Peter and Fonso in the Contender with Sylvester Stallone, what a fight!! They both gave it their all, beautiful to watch, inspiring.
Why am I feeling so bad? I know this process has many ups and downs, I feel different almost every day from the last, but come on.. Ah, is it the one step back?
Damn, I really feel lousy, maybe I should go for a walk, I'm pretty much invisible now, what with the new black coat and all: L.A.P.D. SWAT-specifications. To protect and to serve. Got it at an army dumpstore.
'Sigh', this is truly one of those days, I am unable to write, but I'm also unable not to write. Where else can I say what's on my mind even if it's drivel?
I feel pressed down as if by some enormous paperweight. Something's going on in my chest as well, that's good, maybe I'm stirring things up by writing everything that comes to mind, which, to be honest, is nothing worth mentioning, but hey, a real life has really lousy days and even great writers write crap sometimes. Not that I'm a great writer. You know what I'm saying.
Oh wait, something unusual happened today: I actually cleaned my house! Well, what I call cleaning might not be what housewives have in mind, but what the hell, I vacumed, dusted a little, cleaned the floor, washed the dishes, wiped sticky surfaces with a damp cloth, watered the plants and afterwards had to lie down because of the pain in my lower back.
So it was very useful as I remembered again exactly why I don't clean often and thorough. But you know, there's that little pinch of shame whenever I notice a spider's web in the bathroom's wash-basin, or crusts of mud in plain sight on the living-room floor. I should have gone for wall-to-wall carpeting.
What else.. no, don't have anything else. I'm tired and I'm cold and I don't know what to do. Okay, I know when to quit (about half a page ago), so for now I'll stop polluting my blog with these nonsensical scribblings and go read me some of them Letterman's top ten lists, they're funny, maybe later I'll write some more. Maybe not.
M.
Tense day, boring as well, cried a little at the meeting, stuffed my face with chocolate so nothing new there. Next week I'm expected to go to another doctor/specialist to whom I have to tell the whole story all over again 'yawn', like something good can come out of it. I look healthy, that's my curse, you can't see anything on the outside except a little crookedness in my back, a straight piece of back that's supposed to be arched and overly flexible joints. Well, I'm looking forward to it already..
I'm sitting here typing, but there's really not much to say. Just trying to get rid of this heavy feeling inside. Guess writing doesn't always help.
Saw a hell of a boxing-match just now, Peter and Fonso in the Contender with Sylvester Stallone, what a fight!! They both gave it their all, beautiful to watch, inspiring.
Why am I feeling so bad? I know this process has many ups and downs, I feel different almost every day from the last, but come on.. Ah, is it the one step back?
Damn, I really feel lousy, maybe I should go for a walk, I'm pretty much invisible now, what with the new black coat and all: L.A.P.D. SWAT-specifications. To protect and to serve. Got it at an army dumpstore.
'Sigh', this is truly one of those days, I am unable to write, but I'm also unable not to write. Where else can I say what's on my mind even if it's drivel?
I feel pressed down as if by some enormous paperweight. Something's going on in my chest as well, that's good, maybe I'm stirring things up by writing everything that comes to mind, which, to be honest, is nothing worth mentioning, but hey, a real life has really lousy days and even great writers write crap sometimes. Not that I'm a great writer. You know what I'm saying.
Oh wait, something unusual happened today: I actually cleaned my house! Well, what I call cleaning might not be what housewives have in mind, but what the hell, I vacumed, dusted a little, cleaned the floor, washed the dishes, wiped sticky surfaces with a damp cloth, watered the plants and afterwards had to lie down because of the pain in my lower back.
So it was very useful as I remembered again exactly why I don't clean often and thorough. But you know, there's that little pinch of shame whenever I notice a spider's web in the bathroom's wash-basin, or crusts of mud in plain sight on the living-room floor. I should have gone for wall-to-wall carpeting.
What else.. no, don't have anything else. I'm tired and I'm cold and I don't know what to do. Okay, I know when to quit (about half a page ago), so for now I'll stop polluting my blog with these nonsensical scribblings and go read me some of them Letterman's top ten lists, they're funny, maybe later I'll write some more. Maybe not.
M.
posted by M. at 8:23 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home